It's supposed to be simple isn’t it? A chilled get together with your friends having a good old chat and a laugh over a takeaway? Except, before you even get to the food there’s “the decision“.
What cuisine shall we have? Do we all agree? Should we do one big order or lots of little ones? Suddenly, this chilled fun evening has turned into a full scale negotiation and you feel stuck in the middle of a battlefield of food preferences.
Lucy wants sushi. Jane’s already saying “I don’t mind but I had sushi last week” Louise is up for pizza but only if it’s thin crust. Then Chloe decides it might be a good idea to have Thai. You? You just want everyone to be happy.
The pressure to “get it right“ starts to kick in. Who do you side with? If you pick pizza will lucy be secretly annoyed? If you go with Thai is Jane going to be the one pushing her food around the plate? The takeaway overwhelm sets in!
So how do you deal with with what’s happening and save yourself from spiralling into the hole of trying to keep everyone happy?
First things first take a breath and acknowledge that you cannot under any circumstances, please everyone. Once you accept this your stress levels will thank you.
Next, you might consider compromising where you can. Maybe two people can share sushi, two split a pizza and the Thai lover gets their own dish. Nobody has said that it has to be one order fits all and of course ‘Uber eats’ is ideal for this.
Another alternative is to let one person choose the cuisine this time and take it in turns to choose each time you get together.
Failing that, you could simply set a time limit, vote and move on.
I think it’s important to remember why you’re actually here. It’s not really about the food. it’s about spending time together, laughing, chilling and creating memories.
And just like that the decision has been made, the food has been ordered and is on its way and the stress is just fading. Suddenly nobody is all that bothered about who’s eating what?
It seems to me that the truth is that we all have choices to make and in today’s world of endless options even the simplest decisions can feel overwhelming regardless of whether you’re a people pleaser or not. So next time maybe it will be simpler just to go with your gut and remind yourself… It’s only dinner and…there’s always dessert.
If you want to know more about how counselling can help you, you can contact me .... https://www.counsellingforyoucornwall.co.uk/contact
Until next time
Take Care
Jules
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